Stay
by lost-in-madworld
Summary: This is a story about the saulbert break up. Yeah, I suck at summaries.


Sauli's POV

I sat up awake in mine and Adam's bed- which I guess is just Adam's now- haunted by thoughts. I don't remember the last time I've cried so much about something, or felt so heartbroken. Just a few hours ago Adam and I decided that it was best that we end our relationship of almost three years. We decided that we would part as friends and I would leave for Finland in the morning, so we could have one more night as a couple. I glanced at the sleeping angel and I felt tears start to cloud my eyes, I looked away quickly so I wouldn't start having a full on breakdown.

I can't even remember how our relationship started to go down-hill; we used to be so happy and close. He was my soul mate and I was his, we would stay up all night talking and sharing stories. For fuck's sake I came to live here and left behind everything I knew for him, but recently it just…stopped. We got too busy, we had nothing else to talk about, we didn't have time for each other, we would suffer through wordless phone calls, and Skype conversations. Adam was always traveling and I was left here waiting for him or working on my own career. We lost all the romance and love and it just became automatic.

I never wanted it to end like this, I love Adam with all my heart, he's my everything, I thought we were going to be together forever. I tried so hard to keep this relationship going; I fought so hard for this. I tried to live with our crumbling relationship but I couldn't do it. It was just hurting me way too much. I didn't want to be in a relationship that wasn't working, and neither did he.

Earlier tonight we sat together on the couch in awkward silence, and then Adam told me that he thought the relationship wasn't working out. I just nodded as he went on and on about how we were just too busy and how he still loved me, it just couldn't work. I just nodded, I knew it was true, and I felt the same way. I just didn't want to accept it; I didn't want to accept that our relationship was over. I put so much into this, I love him so much, and I just want to be with him. We talked it out, he held me in his arms as we both cried, and we decided that we would keep a friendship. We both want more than that, we want the relationship to work, but it can't.

We sat there crying for who knows long before we decided to go to bed. Adam held me in his arms and eventually we fell asleep, but I didn't stay asleep for long. Now I'm here, wide awake at 2 am reflecting on mine and Adam's relationship. I never used to think true love existed before I met Adam; I thought it was just a bunch of bullshit, and that I would never actually find anyone. Adam changed everything for me, we barely knew each other and even then I knew it was meant to be.

He treated me like a jewel, and protected me from the rest of the world, he held me when I got insecure and comforted me when I had a nightmare. He never judged me or thought I was stupid, I told him things I never told anyone, he was so easy to talk to and soon enough he became my best friend. I feel like even though we agreed to keep a friendship after I walk out that door in the morning, we might not be able to do that. With every relationship I've had in the past the friendship was destroyed and after we broke up we never talked again after that. I don't want that to happen with Adam.

I want him to stay; I want him to be in my life. I want us to stay in contact so that maybe one day when things calm down, we can maybe get back together, and not even that, Adam is and always be my best friend, I've never felt this way with anyone before. I felt the tears threatening to fall and I welcomed them, as the tears fell down my face I started to sob. I let out a gasp and curled myself into a ball. I don't want this to be the end, I don't want to leave in the morning, I don't want this to be goodbye.

"Sauli, honey?" I heard a tired voice call, oh great, I woke Adam up. I felt the bed shift and suddenly he was right next to me.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I stayed silent; the only sounds in the room were my soft sobs and slight gasps. Adam started to rub my back.

"Honey, please talk to me." I lifted my head and looked into Adam concerned electric blue eyes, ones I'll probably never see again. I started to cry harder.

"A-Adam I-I" I stuttered, "I don't want this to be the end." He sighed sadly and pulled me into his arms; I buried my head into his chest and soaked his shirt with my tears.

"I know baby, I know." He was still rubbing my back, comforting me as I cried.

"Adam, I can't do this," I choked out, "I can't handle the fact that it's over. That we'll probably never see each other again after this. I can't lose you, Adam."

"Sauli, you're not going to lose me." I shook my head.

"What if I do Adam?" I cry, "What if we can't keep up a friendship, what if we never see each other ever again?"

"We will, baby," He whispered sweetly, "We'll call each other every day and visit each other all the time. I'll come see you in Finland and see how successful you are and you'll come see my concerts. We'll hang out all the time and we'll talk just like we used to. Everything will be okay, honey, I know it will." My sobbing calmed down a little and turned into slight hiccups, I pulled away a little so I could look up at Adam.

"You promise?" I hiccupped, he smiled sweetly and nodded.

"I promise." He started to wipe away my tears then kissed my cheek. I sighed heavily then rested my head on his chest. For the longest time we just laid there in each other's arms in silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was a peaceful silence.

"Hey, Adam?" I whispered breaking the silence, he looked down at me.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Do you think once our lives calm down a little bit that we could maybe try to get back together?" He smiled sadly and kissed my forehead.

"Of course, honey," He whispered softly in my ear, "We can always try this again" I smiled for the first time since we decided to break up and he kissed my cheek.

"Now get some sleep, love," He mumbled sleepily, "we need to get up early tomorrow." I frowned slightly, right, my flight, but I decided to ignore that for the moment. I cuddled close to Adam and fell asleep.

I woke up in the morning to sound of my phone alarm, I groaned softly but then smiled as I noticed that I was still wrapped in Adam's arms. I wanted to stay like this forever, just hide from the rest of the world in Adam's loving embrace, but I couldn't. I would give up everything for this man, my career, my possessions, even my life. But I knew I couldn't do that, if it were up to me we would stay together and I'd say fuck it to my career, but Adam would have none of that. So I reluctantly left the comfort of Adam's arms and turned off my alarm.

I managed to pack all my stuff and bring it all downstairs. I needed to get dressed and get to the airport but I just couldn't bring myself to change out of my pajamas and leave this house. There are so many memories in this house, like when I first moved in, Adam and I were so happy, we spend most of our days in bed making love. Or the time that Adam invited his family over and I met them for the first time. It was terrifying but they loved me and I loved them in return. And then there was the first time Adam told me he loved me, we were lying in bed together and I had never felt so happy in my entire life.

I felt tears slowly fall town my face as it dawned on me, there wouldn't be any more memories. This was the end, we're not a couple anymore, this is officially it. I heard Adam start to groan and move slightly, I watched as he opened his eyes, his beautiful ocean blue eyes filled with concern the second they fell on me.

"Sauli?" He mumbled tiredly, "what time is it?"

"9 am" I whispered sadly and we crawled over to where I sat on the bed, putting his arm around me.

"Baby?"

"This is it, Adam," I whispered, "It's all over, I'm leaving. It's all real now." He pulled me closer.

"I know, honey, but we knew this was going to happen," He responded softly, "But try not to think about this as an end, just a new beginning." I nodded slowly as the tears fell down my face.

"Hey, I don't wanna see any tears," He started to wipe my tears away, "It's going to be okay, baby. We're gonna get ready, get you to the airport, and we'll see each other soon. Now come on, let's take a shower together." I nodded and we got up he held me close as we showered and let me cry into his chest. He helped me get dressed and then helped me put my stuff into his car.

We stayed silent as he drove me to the airport, he held my hand and I stared out the window watching the world go by. This way be the last time I'm ever in Los Angeles, it hurt to think about, what if I never come back? When we got to the airport Adam helped me bring in my things, we sat together holding hands until they called my flight. We walked me there and when it was time for me to get onto the terminal I turned around and looked at him. Adam, my baby, my angel, was crying. He looked so broken and upset and I couldn't helped but start crying again too.

We held each other close and cried until they announced that it was the last call for my flight. I looked up at Adam and he wiped away my tears.

"I want to stay, Adam." I whimpered softly

"I know, baby, I want you to stay too, but we both know that you can't, you have to follow your dreams." I pulled him into one last warm embrace.

"I love you, Adam" I mumbled into his chest.

"I love you too, Sauli" We pulled away and he gave me one last final kiss. Just a simple peck on the lips but it meant the world to me. I walked onto the plane sobbing then took my seat. I wiped away my tears and looked out the window.

I guess this really was goodbye.

**So this was kind of me trying to get over the saulbert break up and yeah. I loved them so much and I wish the best to both of them.**

**~Sarah**


End file.
